Soliloquy Lyrics

I know the pain in my heart makes me feel like my life's been changin', this feeling's Surreal

Was I scared of somethin'? Was I scared of somethin'?

And I won't let go of this life that I live

Ambition will drive me, I know what to give

Yeah I know I want it bad, yeah I know I want it bad

You think you know me but you only see what's on the surface

I've only ever opened up when I wrote "What's My Purpose?"

I'm juggling emotions so my mind's been quite the circus

No it's not the end of me but fuck it dawg, close the curtains

People cut me off 'cause I quickly turned a new leaf but I did it for my own sake

Now watch it benefit me, yuh

I can't lie, I'm not the same guy

I'm tired of hearin' Almighty this, Almighty that, regurgitate the same lies

Yo I've had it with this shit, I need a moment to reflect 'cause I know if I don't, my closed Fist and your face will find a way to connect

That ain't no threat

I'm not goin' out in no blaze or no glory

I just wanna send a message to the people who've ignored me

Back when I was writin' metal, I thought that this shit would take off

Some drama happened, I was gone, it was hard to break off

It was me against them in a motherfuckin' face off but it wasn't worth it

I know all my hard work's gonna pay off

But there's one thing I can't shake and that's the fact that y'all never helped me when I Felt like I was in a rut because ya'll way too selfish

I said fuck it, comin' back to music after all these years made me realize that there's More to this life than sheddin' tears

This life is like a 6-speed, time to shift it into gear

My hopes and dreams were shattered like a fuckin' broken mirror

Now I'm growin' close with God so I have someone to revere

I called the priest and ask 'em to sit down and lend a fuckin' ear

Hello Father, I hope that my prayers reached you

When I'm feelin' lower than the ground, I got you to preach to

I know that I've sinned, please forgive me if I have been deceitful

In my darkest hours, darkest minutes, I got you to reach to

I fell down so hard that it took all my will to get up

Everyone that cared about me said "Almighty, keep your head up

Yeah, I can't lie, I never thought I'd make it here 'cause of everyone around me, I might Just shed a tear

I know the pain in my heart makes me feel like my life's been changing, this feeling's Surreal

Was I scared of something? Was I scared of something?

And I won't let go of this life that I live

Ambition will drive me, I know what to give

Yeah I know I want it bad, yeah I know I want it bad

I felt like I was movin' at a snail's pace, but in this world nothing's given on a golden Platter

I found out the hard way, pickin' up the pieces that had been shattered

I didn't need a shoulder to cry on, it was a private matter

Thought my life was a disaster

Thank God that I didn't give into my demons

I learned to navigate through Hell and back, can you believe it?

My therapist been sayin' "life's a bitch, now give it meaning so you can move on and Forget about the past that you've been fleeing"

So I let go of that weight on my shoulders, I felt relief

I felt the pain go away and I felt the willingness to speak against those who opposed me Or tried makin' me feel like I'm nothing

I'll set some fuckin' boundaries, ain't that really something?

Look at me now dad, your son is makin' moves, there ain't stoppin' him

I went from Special Ed to this, ain't the glow up so astonishing?

You say that you respect the hustle, well then why don't you acknowledge it?

Let me sway your mind like I'm in politics

I pray that someday I'll finally make it

I know it's been a long road, but I'm glad I'm here

I'm happy

I fell down so hard that it took all my will to get up

Everyone that cared about me said "Almighty, keep your head up

Yeah, I can't lie, I never thought I'd make it here 'cause of everyone around me, I might Just shed a tear

I know the pain in my heart makes me feel like my life's been changing, this feeling's Surreal

Was I scared of something? Was I scared of something?

And I won't let go of this life that I live

Ambition will drive me, I know what to give

Yeah I know I want it bad, yeah I know I want it bad

I know the pain in my heart makes me feel like my life's been changing, this feeling's Surreal

Was I scared of something? Was I scared of something?

And I won't let go of this life that I live

Ambition will drive me, I know what to give

Yeah I know I want it bad, yeah I know I want it bad

I know the pain in my heart makes me feel like my life's been changing, this feeling's Surreal

Was I scared of something? Was I scared of something?

And I won't let go of this life that I live

Ambition will drive me, I know what to give

Yeah I know I want it bad, yeah I know I want it bad