Florida Man Lyrics

It's summertime in Florida no one's playing with the heat

Those motherless mosquitos nearly swept me off my feet

But the joke was all on them it tastes like whiskey when I bleed

So me and those bloodsuckers went on back to my house to watch some TV

And there's only one thing that I can't stand it's when they call me Florida Man

I flipped the TV station to watch some local news

Another White Male Politician with those Education Blues

A python in the lobby, another pitbull in the school

And some guy from Collier County selling AK-47s at a public pool

But there's still one thing I still can't stand it's when they call me Florida Man

Maybe we're a little eccentric but that don't make us fools

Cause we're the Hurricane Eye State: nothing to fear, and plenty to lose

I ain't superstitious, we got water issues here

And no one will be laughing when our panthers disappear

But I can't walk on water, hell I don't think I'll float

So if you want to save the oceans, the beaches or the 'glades you better vote

And that's why my Uncle Sam shakes his head at Florida Man

Through Miami they travel, and Disney every year

Tourists tearing up our turnpikes and they're drinking all our beer

And they stop at every pit stop and call rednecks, freaks and queers

But the asshole in the mirror is often closer than they appear

There's still one thing that I can't stand when they call me Florida Man

Maybe we're a little eccentric but that don't make us fools

Cause we're the Hurricane Eye State: nothing to fear, but plenty to lose

Nothing to fear, but plenty to lose

No, nothing to fear, but plenty to lose