Before I Died Lyrics

Who was I before I died?

You look at me with question marks for eyes

I'm confused too, for different reasons than you

All I know is that I don't

And just because you think that I am wise

Doesn't mean that I should tell you anything

At all

That part of me that's ashamed of who I was

For all of the hiding and the drugs

Is softening since I learned how to love

Now who I am is healing who I was

Who was I before I died?

A porcupine, a sharp and prickly thing

Don't get too close, I scare easier than

Most of all, most of you know mostly true

Is still completely false

Don't be that fool, I see me in you

And most of us are not an open book

We're a bit unseen and misunderstood

Caught in between all our could's and should's

Watering the seeds

waiting for the buds

Who was I before I died?

A shadowed gool hiding behind God

Waiting to jump and spook him off his high

Horses, dogs, the deer, the frogs

And all the living things that I forgot

I'm sorry to you too

For how I neglected you back then

When life was just darkness I had to trudge

When guilt and grief taught me how to numb

I'd say, "go away, fuck off with all that love"

But now who I am is healing who I was