Identity Crisis Lyrics

Sebastian Stephan

Real life music

Let's get to the root of the problem

I didn't choose to be lost

Without knowing the route I was walking

Never was taught how to be a man cause no one can

Teach a boy like a grown-up man

My mom had to be overwhelmed

It was really out of her hands

Cause I grew up with an attitude

And careless tendencies

Mad at the world, mad at my teachers and I made my share of enemies

Insecure as a teen so people on the streets started testing me

Got kicked while I was already on the floor

Lusted for revenge to start a war

Had me looking for a gun for defense to stop it all

I didn't respect men, my dad made me hate them all

He didn't even call

Let alone teach me how to stand up for myself or play ball

A few months overseas with a host dad

Gave me some idea what it would be like to respect a grown man

But I messed up relationships with cold raps

Disrespecting everybody just like before that

A hopeless youngster

Vision blurry when I sipped that Henny

Back in 2010 I never thought I'd see 2020

Do you know who you really are?

Take your time, reinvent yourself, and you will get far

Sometimes you have to pull yourself up

When no one gives you a hand

Maybe it's a good thing, they ain't giving a damn

That means you don't have to make them understand

That means I can mind my own business, learning to be

Easy on myself and be the best version of me

They looked down on small town folks

Packed my shit up, moved to Amsterdam all by myself

Tough times, so I turned to the scripture to ask

God for help, regretting things in my past

The pressure made me bend and try bad

To be perfect questioning everything that I am

Everything that I had

Smoked weed, went psychotic off it

Feared God more then I loved him

Hallucinations and an identity crisis

No longer happy in my skin

No longer happy in white skin

To hell and back with some traumata

Preposterous and torturous too horrid to even think or talk about

I got way more to lose than to gain when I open up

Put off chicks and employers when I wrote this stuff

But it's my way of letting built up emotions out

In rhymes and metaphoric decor

I ain't trying to be liked by everybody no more

Ain't trying to be like everybody no more

I ain't trying to be liked by everybody no more

Ain't trying to be like everybody no more

Do you know who you really are?

Take your time, reinvent yourself, and you will get far

Sometimes you have to pull yourself up

When no one gives you a hand

Maybe it's a good thing, they ain't giving a damn

That means you don't have to make them understand

That means I can mind my own business, learning to be

Easy on myself and be the best version of me

It's sad just to think

Weed had me hallucinating and imagining things

On an insanity brink

It went way out of hand

With hallucinogens I drank from a can

Friends tried to talk sense into me but I just didn't to listen

Had to learn the hard way, wishing

I could turn back time to set things right

A lot of my life was really more of a fight

Sometimes I tried to sleep all day and night but I couldn`t

Sometimes I wished I'd die but I wouldn't

I relive shit still in my dreams

Torture scenarios real as could be

I could barely sleep, waking up to the worst kind of nightmares

Asking, is there a God out there that might care?

Only option I have left

Is looking for a better future with none of the past stress

Took some time off work focusing on my life's story on beats

I want to be all I could be

I know I can move on from the horrors I've seen

Since growing up as a teen

Do you know who you really are?

Take your time, reinvent yourself, and you will get far

Sometimes you have to pull yourself up

When no one gives you a hand

Maybe it's a good thing, they ain't giving a damn

That means you don't have to make them understand

That means I can mind my own business, learning to be

Easy on myself and be the best version of me