how to hate you Lyrics

It was an accident

I didn't mean to fall this hard

Hit my head and now the thought of you

Can fill my eyes with stars

Just get it over with

If you're gonna leave, then lock the door

And I'll just sit here feeling everything

From my bedroom floor

I'm rereading our old messages

I check in on all our mutual friends

Just in case someone says your name

I still cling to the careless things you'd say

The cracks in my heart keep me awake

I can't keep going on this way

So I tell myself that I don't need you

I'll say it 'til it's true

Til I get over you

I'll convince myself I'm better off

I'll stop looking at the moon

And wondering what you're up to

And someday I'll learn how to hate you

I'm missing the way you'd want me

I'm grieving the way you used to care

Now I feel crazy how it all just vanished

Right into thin air

I take advice from strangers I meet online

I need the universe to give me a goddamn sign

Cause I can't keep putting up this fight

So I tell myself that I don't need you

I'll say it 'til it's true

Til I get over you

I'll convince myself I'm better off

I'll stop looking at the moon

And wondering what you're up to

And someday I'll learn how to hate you

I play it off and tell the world that I'm fine

I've gotten good at putting on the disguise

I could've loved you for the longest time

Don't wanna cry for something that isn't mine

But you hardly ever leave my mind

I could've loved you for the rest of my life

So I'll dye my hair

And change my clothes

Then I'll leave this town

Find a new postal code

Far away

So I stop seeing you

I can turn into

A brand new person

Change everything

To kill the version of myself

That's still in love with you

So I tell myself that I don't need you

I'll say it 'til it's true

Til I get over you

But when it gets late

And I get lonely

I look up at the moon

And wonder what you're up to

But someday I'll learn how to hate you