End Of You ft. Joshua Domfeh Lyrics

Have you ever reached the end of you

Because I once reached the end of me too

Middle of May 2014

In my room

With a pack of codeine

As the folds in the wallpaper that gently leaked

I sat there

Knowing I didn't want to be here

And as if the demons heard: they came into reason

I began to feel fearless of the devil's dealings

He handed me death and clothed it in his meaning

The walls shudder

As my body bodied, the codeine

I overdosed, body began heaving

I saw the light. I began desperately weeping

But I had one question

What does it mean in this life to have meaning

Have you ever reached the end of you

Because I once reached the end of me too

I was sitting in the hospital, immune system weak

Nurse looked at me funny, knew I was a teen

"Anything you want to tell me?" - She asked with ease

Where do I find me? I wanted to scream

Do we lose ourselves the longer we breathe

How can I tell you what's wrong

When I - don't even - know me

Losing yourself is the greatest loss

It like grieving but having to watch the body rot

Its a death that has happened to many of us

Walking graveyards, still maintaining a job

All the while buried in mental health issues

And lack of trust

Couldn't afford a counsellor, so I found healing in lust

Men's attention was crack, and the mourning was numbed

I buried my body alive in the crux

Of - anything and everything - but it wasn't enough

Something had to change before I became completely undone

I felt stress cling - on like a leper

And run riot on my lungs

I couldn't taken it anymore

I'd simply had enough

But how can I rise up from out - of the dust

Have you ever reached the end of you

Because I once reached the end of me too

Couldn't think of anything else

So I got on my knees

I felt eternally damned and bankrupt of peace

My heart was both tombstone and shrine for my grief

I had unravelled myself in the room of my teens

Completely defeated

I said God, if you're real, then you're gonna have to show me

I can't explain it - but something changed

A comfort turned my tears into tides of tranquil peace

As the room felt freer and lifted of grief

It's as if angels flooded the room, and God was beside me

Holding my hand, I was uncontrollably crying

His presence was tangible as the room echoed with brightness

My shame left, and my smile climbed in

Have you ever reached the end of you

Because I once reached the end of me too

But it wasn't the end

It was a chance to discover what I was missing

Truth is, I found myself because I found Him

And each time the darkness seeps into my rooms curtain seams

I recall how I lost myself, but I remember how He found me