If I Die Lyrics

What's wrong?

I'm scared to commit again

Because what if I am a failure?

What if I am the reason for tension?

And I am the reason for things not fucking working?

What if I'm the fucking issue?

I guess I just don't get it

All up in my head again

If I die, please forgive my sins

My life is a lie, I can't pretend

Things are fine, God it's, God it's gotta end

Now I'm all up in my head again

If I die, please forgive my sins

My life is a lie, I can't pretend

Things are fine, God, it's gotta end

One step closer

I might fall off and then its all over

Numbing my brain, I hate when I'm sober

Call me an addict, you're pushing me closer

I don't ask for help but I certainly need it

Keep fighting Death but I won't ever beat him

They only come to me when it's convenient

And ask how I am but they don't ever mean it

Up in my head

I got these thoughts

That won't stay dead

Stuck in my bed

My body rots

Nothing makes sense

Went through my meds

Now I cannot

Even keep friends

Fill me with dread

A single shot

Fill my brain with lead

One day I might not be here

They'll say they fuckin' love me but they fake their tears

They'll forget me in a couple years

Every god damn prayer sounds so insincere

Now I'm all up in my head again

If I die, please forgive my sins

My life is a lie, I can't pretend

Things are fine, God, it's gotta end

Lately I'm angry

They think I'm crazy

Pent up aggression is making me hate things

Wake up today and I'm doing the same things

Rinse and repeat, God, this shit is so draining

Hello again to my thoughts that all hate me

They'll say I'll fail but I promise I'm changing

No matter what I do they'll just keep painting

Me as the villain 'cause I'm not worth saving

Damn

What do I do now?

Can't trust myself 'cause I'll freak out

Lock myself up inside of my house

Bring a bottle right up to my mouth

Drown my sorrows, all the way, way deep down

Won't talk about it, not right now

I'll make it through though, yeah somehow

Now I'm all up in my head again

If I die please forgive my sins

My life is a lie, I can't pretend

Things are fine, God, it's gotta end

Are you okay?