pretty good, you? Lyrics

Masturbating to put off crying

For ten minutes while I feel good-ish

Followed by uncontrollable sobbing

Or total detachment, numb while I am

Ignoring my feelings and staring at my tv

Repeating a mantra I'm doing much better

When I see my loved ones, pretending I'm happy

If I say it enough, maybe they'll all stop asking

But you did not deserve the way I was

I got so used to ignoring my feelings

Instead of handling my grief in a way that's healthy

Even though I acknowledged my problems

And stopped getting high all the time trying to solve them

I'm still not treating the underlying causes

They don't go away no matter how I ignore them

Feeling like I can't talk about it

Even when people ask and I know they're not bothered

I still have a hard time just being honest

I can see you open up

And I can get what I want

I know that you're vulnerable

You're weak to me, it's so fucked up

I'm sorry

The truth is I still hate myself

I regret it

For the choices I've made, including the good ones

And I won't make

Doing my best for a child that resents me

Excuses

Is this how my parents felt while they raised me

Though I was a

Nobody cares, I should just stop complaining

Different person

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

I'm ultimately responsible for my actions and decisions

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

I can't just blame mental illness

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

I just needed to express this

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

To recover, I'm defenseless

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

All the guilt that weighs me down

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

All the suffering I've caused and the people I've hurt

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

You did not deserve the way I was

Do I hate my life or am I just unhappy

I'm sorry