20 Lyrics

At twenty I didn't think I'd find myself here

Feeling the same things I did when I was fourteen

I'd imagine I'd be doing something more exciting with my life than working down the street

The only thing that makes me feel sane is the lexapro I've been taking since I was sixteen

The most stagnant thing in my short life

Staying up till three am wondering what it would be like if I just simply dropped dead

But I'll dye my hair instead

I think I lost myself somewhere in this year and I'm trying to find it

Without having a man whisper sweet nothings in my ear

Cigarettes have been my closest friend

Some days I wish I could drink myself into a black abyss but one shot and I'm an anxious mess

And I see my friends hug and kiss something that I truly miss

But if it weren't for some stupid prick I wouldn't get sick at the thought of someone being so close

Spinning round and round scream and shout till my lungs give out but it's only towards myself

Wishing either me, myself or I will win the fight but so far none of them are doing fine

I wanna run and hide

Would anyone come find me

Would anyone come find me

If not that's fine I don't mind