Tales of a Cosmic Schmuck Lyrics

I met a psychic in St. Louis

And everything she said was fucking bullshit

I was a man down on my luck

And she exploited my misfortunes just to make a couple bucks

Told me she could give me answers that would help me get unstuck

But it's been 5 years and I'm still in this rut

I was having a hard time living

I was stuck in one place but the world kept spinning on

Stuck in a rut again

Prognosis negative

I was having a hard time with having a hard time

Searching for something to get me through the waves of my anxiety

So is life worth living well i've got my fucking doubts

'cause i've seen the future and it freaked me out

Spend all of your money

Give all your shit to charity

'cause in this life there are no guarantees

I met a barkeep in Barcelona

And with every drink he poured he got me closer

To feeling numb

To feeling free

And he kept pouring till I poured the guts right out of me

So I get to drinking to alleviate my doubts

I toss em back until it's lights out

Give up the things that get you down

Bury your burdens in the ground

Forgive yourself for the things you can't control

I can't afford

The free will afforded to me

I got buyers remorse

On a life thats been gifted to me

I'm scatter-brained

I'm searching for certainty

But in this life

There's no guarantees

Except the guarantee

That one day you'll be dead