The Contest Lyrics

Fade in

Donut shop

We see three local cops

One of them is going off

About why he the dopest cop

He say

My relationship with these n-words

Is way better than yours

They look at me like a mentor

Ha

They laughed it off

'Cause already he done shot

Like 5 people this year

And that's just at traffic stops

But even after all this time

Sheriff Bobby Yule, he still feel like he got something to prove

Even though he's the boss

Even though he caused

The riots in the streets

That led to the world's biggest police force

So Bobby, Jerry, and Elaine

Each put down a week's pay

To see who could go the longest without shooting somebody

Next day Wednesday

Business as usual

Jerry was out on his beat

Weather was beautiful

He was thinking about the bet

His friends must be delusional

And then he got a call

Yeah I got a couple juveniles

Who look to me like they might be into some distribution

Why don't you head over there see if you can do something?

When he pulled up on them dudes

Thought he might try something new like

What I got to lose

If I just go and introduce?

So he ignored their mean glances

Hey guys, I'm Jerry, so

You ever notice when police roll up

We're always in sunglasses?

What's the deal with that shit?

Like a Cop-arazzi classic

I think that we think it makes us more charismatic

Wouldn't ya know, it made 'em laugh

So he figured he'd go with that

A charm offensive

And in fact it got them boys to relax

They explained how they were local college kids

And they needed to be outside for their science experiment 

And that was that

They had a lil' chit-chat

He called up dispatch

Told 'em could they sit back

Wow

Now smash cut to across town

Bobby's on familiar ground

Yup, it's a traffic stop

And sho'nuff a pat down

Mandem was ji shooken

First thing in his mind, book it

'Cause he had weed in his hand

So of course he ran

But even though he was on the run

Even though he was holding something

Not even once did he think about reaching for his gun

'Cause common sense told Bobby

He wasn't a threat to nobody

Ironically it was Elaine

Who couldn't make it one day

'Cause when Roxanne ran that red light in a Hyundai

Elaine went back to her first love: gunplay

A week a later there's two standing

Pot got a couple grand in it

Word spread through the precinct

And then in three weeks

The whole NYPD was spreading peace in the streets

It takes dollars to find common sense and sensibility

Eventually the whole the country got in on the event

For more money than Powerball combined with Mega Millions

And it was fun so they started it back up time and time again

And of course police shootings went down ninety-nine percent