My World Gets Pretty Weird Without Beer Lyrics

I remember getting home last Tuesday evening

To find somebody'd stolen all my things

My computer and my stereo were missing

They'd taken all my jewlry and my rings

I panicked when I couldn't find my microwave

I stumbled toward the icebox full of fear

They'd run off with the steaks and all my orange juice

But left me with a half a case of beer

And I could do without your precious love forever

And I could live without the way you lick my ear

I could put up with the lack of sex and TV

But my world gets pretty weird without beer

I was hard at work again on Wednesday morning

But I couldn't find my password on the screen

My filing cabinets were locked and chained up tightly

There was no paper in my dusty fax machine

A messenger arrived just half past lunch hour

With an envelope that somehow missed the mail

It was a pink slip and a guide to unemployment

And a coupon for a half a pint of ale

And I could live without your precious love forever

And I can do without the way you lick my ear

And I can put up with the lack of sex and TV

But my world gets pretty weird without beer

You know I got trapped inside a damp and dreary basement

With a scientist hell bent on stealing thoughts

In an iron chair with seventeen electrodes

Taped to twenty four forget me nots

The madman threw the switch at half past midnight

My mind went blank I couldn't even think

I headed for a light through all the darkness

Until I found a bar and bought another drink.

And I could live without your precious love forever

And I can do without the way you lick my ear

And I can put up with the lack of sex and TV

But my world gets pretty weird

Yeah my world gets pretty weird without beer

You know I can do without the oral sex and TV

But my world gets pretty weird without beer