ChildHood Trauma Lyrics

I can try forgiving but its not gone be the same

The shit that I in vision you would think that I'm insane

You pressing all my buttons but you never on the game

Don't try to take it back cause you had never took the blame

You the one to blame you the reason i cant chill

You the one to blame why my brain is stuck on kill

You the one to blame why I'm feening for them pills

You the one to blame why I never try to feel

You smiling in my face but I can tell that it be fake

You the one I cant replace but now yo name is by a snake

Bitch I hear you telling stories you wont say it to my face

Only woman I call bitch only person that I hate

I been burning my respect for you

No longer a collect for you

I'm in disconnect from you

I see I was a check to you

I was the neglect to you

But you was on my pedestal

This is a direct to you

Forgiveness aint protecting you

You posed to be my moms and thats the sad shit

The mothafucka' I'm posed to put all my trust in

The one that brought me into this fucked up world

But the main mothafucka' doing me dirt is my moms?

All I ever wanted was that motherly love

But you the reason I grew up wit so much pain

The reason I been hurting but cant shed a tear

You the reason when I cry you don't ever see a tear

The reason I be high cause you was never here

We never had a tie cause you was leading me with fear

I tried to fucking die I was tryna disappear

My father was the one that held it down when it got tough

He was standing on his ten even when he had enough

Till his body gave it up his angels called him on his bluff

Every lesson that he taught me thats the reason that I'm tough

Started talking to myself i see I'm better on my own

I call you by yo name cause all the shit that you had shown

That title that you claim you can claim it on yo own

Bitch don't hit my fucking line cause I'll correct you on yo tone

Don't be saying I'm yo son cause everything you did is wrong

Got me fighting wit myself so I just pour it every song

It been nights I almost lost but I just pray to keep me strong

I been getting close to god cause you had left me on my own

I'm just battling my anger cause its all I ever known

It's like

I know i only get one mother

I know i should forgive & forget

I tried

I gave you that chance but once again you proved me correct

I was thinking that you sorry but you not

I get hurt get I cant stop

Everything I put my mind I'm making sure I hit the top

You was always in my way but I'm not drowning in yo hate

I can really hurt yo feelings make this feeling fucking swap

All I wanted was yo love but every chance you made it rot

Only mother I can have but thats too bad that she a op

Tried to talk to like a adult but you was pocking till I popped

We can leave it where it at don't hit my phone cause now you blocked

A topic for the ones that know what its like

I grew up thinking it was sum wrong with me

Like I was the problem

In school seeing everybody with they moms

Everybody having that love hate relationship

But mines was different

I never felt the love

Only hate