Town Meeting Song Lyrics

Listen, there were objects so peculiar

They were not to be believed

All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen

And as hard as I try

I can't seem to describe

Like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when I tell you this

It's as real as my skull and it does exist

Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present

The whole thing starts with a box

A box?

Is it steel?

Are there locks?

Is it filled with a pox?

A pox

How delightful, a pox

If you please

Just a box with bright-colored paper

And the whole thing's topped with a bow

A bow?

But why?

How ugly

What's in it?

What's in it?

That's the point of the thing, not to know

It's a bat

Will it bend?

It's a rat

Will it break?

Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake

Listen now, you don't understand

That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention

Now we pick up an oversized sock

And hang it like this on the wall

Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?

Let me see, let me look

Is it rotted and covered with gook?

Hmm, let me explain

There's no foot inside, but there's candy

Or sometimes it's filled with small toys

Small toys

Do they bite?

Do they snap?

Or explode in a sack?

Or perhaps they just spring out

And scare girls and boys

What a splendid idea

This Christmas sounds fun

Why, I fully endorse it

Let's try it at once

Everyone, please now, not so fast

There's something here that you don't quite grasp

Well, I may as well give them what they want

And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last

For the ruler of this Christmas land

Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice

Least that's what I've come to understand

And I've also heard it told

That he's something to behold

Like a lobster, huge and red

And sets out to slay with his rain gear on

Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms

That is, so I've heard it said

And on a dark, cold night

Under full moonlight

He flies into a fog

Like a vulture in the sky

And they call him Sandy Claws

Well, at least they're excited

Though they don't understand

That special kind of feeling in Christmas land

Oh, well...