Treachery of Memories Lyrics

The treachery of memories sours all my melodies

I don't know you felt to me, it's not over, it better be

I wish I didn't need someone to be helping me

A shell, a husk, an empty me, wanders, ponders endlessly

I'm tumbling and it's scaring me, I felt I handled carelessly

I'm sick of staying up til three, always yearning stargazing

Never going, mania escaping me

Never quite expressing right, I only write with hollow eyes

I really want to go and fly, but I find there's never time

Always working, watching things, cause escape from life is crippling me

So addicting, that's why I'll be doing this until I'm 63

I'll want to die, I'll be so lonely, but instead I will be holding my cigarettes and candy

Energy drinks handy, only standing to go shopping for some brandy

Hardly breathing, always seething, stressing bout what's out my hands

Crying, numbing feelings, not solving issues I clearly can

Wage slave, rent pig who can barely afford any of the things he has

So much debt, I'll miss my dad, he'll be dead and he'll only leave me his favorite hat

My family will hate me and they'll be glad when I finally break and blow my brains

I'm going insane, I hate this song and the words I'm saying

Dear god, please, end it please, stop it from playing, I'm sick of praying, can it just get easy, can I just stop missing what I don't have anymore

Sometimes although I deny the truth that lies behind the tears I'm crying, I cannot hide the side of me that wants to bleed

Just to see what it's like, I cut myself to excite, the sex and drugs I try to evade my boring life I have no thoughts or personality

What lies beneath is only copies of what I see, please, end this please, I'm deconstructing my ego, it keeps dying, why am I always lying

The treachery of memories are what will bring the end of me

Insanity, my fragile self is paper thin and it's vanishing

I'm wasting time all the down the drain, I think I should go on a train and sit alone in the downtown rain, will I ever be myself again

Or was I here in the first place, I'm terrified so should I haste in growing up and living life, it's never enough, I'll never try

Introspections killing me, nostalgia is filling me, blinding me, beckoning me to lose myself to simpler times

I will not fall for that device, I already have, it's my worst vice

Hope there is no afterlife, I want to rest not to live twice

What is this disintegration, why's it feel like I'm a spaceship, floating and observing me, I hate this shit please set me free

Let me back into myself, please reconnect me to myself, I should've told you off the shelf how I was and how I felt, I'm sorry