Solo Song Lyrics

Susie had a big problem that Johnny didn't know

She was horny and she wanted him inside her making love

But Johnny rarely wanted it, and to her that was a crime

One day Susie told Johnny, you spend far too much time

Beating your meat

And tugging your chain

Bopping your bologna

Walking the snake

Cleaning the pipe

Diddling your dong

Choking the sheriff

So the posse will come

Polishing your rocket

Pounding your pud

Spanking the monkey

Oiling the glove

Squeezing your lemon

Buttering your biscuit

Turning the antenna

Mangling the midget

But Johnny had a big problem that Susie didn't get

He was just as horny as any guy, and liked his women yet

But Susie always nagged him, and loved to pick a fight

So Johnny told her, Susie, maybe it's best you spend your nights

Greasing your hips

Or fanning your fur

Polishing the peanut

Playing poker

Tickling the kitty

Checking for squirrels

Buffing the weasel

Polishing the pearl

Flipping the bean

Or pushing the button

Hitchhiking to heaven

Going spelunking

Strumming the banjo

Testing the plumbing

Stroking two lips

Or buffing the muffin

When Susie heard Johnny complain it started a big fight

They planned to leave each other and just masturbate that night

But it turned her on to watch him hard, and he liked her getting wetter

So now they agreed when they make love to masturbate together

Pulling the piss pump

Cuffing the puppy

Airing the orchid

Brushing her bunny

Pealing the carrot

Rubbing his nob

Groping the grotto

Feeding her slot

Pulling the wire

Snapping the whip

Taunting the turtle

Toggling the bit

Fondling the fig

In hand to gland combat

Parting the red sea

Wrestling her wombat

This song won't make you go blind

Or grow hair on your palms

But it might make you mad

So if it does, take matters into your own hands

Maybe, even start strumming along, making your own song

Maybe, if you don't want to play with me

Try playing with yourself