12/20/2020 ft. noxlumen & jakob the STAR Lyrics

I can see the stars and they don't seem that far

I know, I don't

Got a clue where to start but I made it this far

Who knows?

I always needed something to believe in

Maybe just to stop you from leaving

For a while there I thought this was Eden

But it's hurting now

Please come pull me out

Think I'm gonna drown

But I could be the lesser of your stresses if

I can really help it, I'm just selfish-ish

And I know there's a lessen I been blessed with

And I don't know the message but I'm spreading it

And now I keep getting tested, now I'm weathering

I need my pen so my temperature stays level

And the Earth deserves it too I guess

But my folks are spending less and less

The next will fix it if obsessed

But I see infinite regress

All I see is red in the sky, I am reaching it

Rain pouring over since I grieve on another bitch

Throwing parties on our grave, can't help but to wear a grin

Hope it fucks you over to see me if I ever win

I could never satisfy the pride that I was born with

But I know it hurts to think back of what just isn't is

I could always try and change my speech it is devilish

Know it makes it better cuz I got some love when I sin

Felt this way since I was really young, that's just how it is

I just want to make it for my mom, going to make her rich

Countless bitches that just broke my heart, will it ever end?

Countless people I've known from the start met their early end

Why do I feel so lost?

I am older and so numb

I don't know where I'm going

I just wanna feel loved

I think my sister hates me

And honestly I blame me

We ain't been talking lately

How can I let her face me

Through the phone when we been faking?

I should be with her shaking fists

Like, "can you fuckers take me?"

Give her her brothers safety

And if they touch her, aggravate, or even look innately

Fucking kill them sedately

Kid, finish your homework while you're waiting for me

They'll be sorry, made you worry, had to blast

Been a little scared to ask

But, Momma, am I still your baby?

I don't know my brother's favorite color but his birthday's in June

I just dropped the only family that I got to choose

I always wondered if you'd be there when I shot for the moon

Now I don't know what to do, no, I don't know what to do

Most days I'm fasting, still ain't done my taxes

Back in Carlsbad we chatted about what we fear

And, I guess we found out who the first to disappear is

But if you're still willing, hope you call me when you hear this

Hope you call me when you hear this

I hope you call me when you hear this, could you call me when you hear this

Please, please

Please call me when you hear this, please just call me when you hear this

I can see the stars and they don't seem that far

I know, I don't

Got a clue where to start but I made it this far

Here goes