Christmas, Single ft. Polly Paulusma Lyrics

I wake up with my feet in my fake plastic Christmas tree

Holding a mercifully unopened can

There's a badly wrapped book and a board game

I'm worried she got for her birthday

But I don't have a backup plan

I'm still cleaning when they turn up

I jokingly tell them it's fairy dust

7 years old, she says "dad, it's alright"

I dried out the turkey and they don't even like it done perfectly

I've set the bar low all my life

Christmas, single, kind of dismal

Just like the ones I used to know

The crackers just rip and don't crack

My head is too big for my party hat

It's never too early for wine

Lunch is all pointed remarks about grandchildren

And how these days you just can't say anything

One less place round the table than last time

The afternoon's pecking and prodding

And deliberately misconstrued comments

That mysterious 30 year grudge

It's fine for the snowballs and fruit cake

But there's yelling by quarter to 8

I love them all on their own, but my God

Christmas, single, pretty dreadful

Like I remember when I was a kid

It was magical once though, right?

The cardboard box castles, the paper-strewn floors

That massive great Radio Times

Your one chance all year to see Star Wars

I know this was for me more than them

And I can't stand the pity

Their stepdad's a good guy

And they don't want to tell me

A lazy reply to a lazy round robin, a lazy hello from a school friend

I was bored and the pubs are all closed

I thought I must've offended you

I lost all my numbers two phones ago

I can't believe you've come back to this hole

Do you want to meet up in the week?

If you like, any day except New Year's Eve

We can go back to Yates's and legally drink

Remember that time we snuck into the Odeon?

We said we'd be each other's backup plan

Yeah, well I've said a lot of things

Christmas, single, fairly brutal,

And God knows what the new year will bring

Christmas, single, faintly hopeful

I might not have to do this again