Mr. Anti-Technology Lyrics

Hurry, hurry, hurry

Well, step right up ladies and gents

Hello there, boys and girls

Permit me now to introduce the ninth wonder of the world

The other eight were truly great

Even this I can't deny

But you won't believe what I'll unfurl right here before your eyes

It is so rare, beyond unique that you will plainly see

Behold! Won't you welcome, please

Mr. Anti-Technology

Well, he's not a caveman, or a hermit

I assure you he's evolved

But he's never owned a Rubik's Cube

That's a puzzle he won't solve

He's got no cable, no Blu-Ray player

Knows not of Game Of Thrones

His black-and-white gets three whole stations

He likes living bare bones

His car is stuck on the AM dial, he don't want his MTV

But he still pines for the Fotomat

Mr. Anti-Technology

Wants you off his lawn by three

Well, he don't know what it means to Google

And a Tweet is what birds do

You can bet your sweet bippy he don't need Facebook

To get into a fight with you

His landline still has a rotary phone

There's no Android for this man

And he's not waiting round for Amazon while he's sitting on the can

You can chide him for being backwards

He makes no apologies

Parties like it's 1962

Mr. Anti-Technology

Well, he does not own a microwave

He hates that modern crap

Eats a can of cold cream of mushroom soup

Then he takes his mid-day nap

He don't need no fancy carwash to keep his Edsel clean

And Grindr is something that you find at Mr. Submarine

Oh, don't be sad, he ain't doing bad

He's happier than you and me

One more time, won't you all give it up for

Mr. Anti-Technology

He's much happier than you and me

Mr. Anti-Technology

There ya go son, now get out of here, you bother me

Show's over