Drunk Uncle Lyrics

The clock says two on a Tuesday

I guess to you it's a boozeday

But why are you calling me?

I helped you once, now it's expected

Twice a month, I'm being texted

I'm not at home relaxing

Why can't you call yourself a taxi?

Or you could walk or just get sober

It's two p.m. and you live three blocks over

Drunk uncle, why are you calling me man?

Drunk uncle, where are your friends?

Drunk uncle, you know I'm not a narc so

Don't make me call my dad

You're waking up with puke socks

And you overplayed the jukebox

You've got a crush on the waitress

And you're spending a whole paycheck

You didn't invite me to the pub man

So tell me how this is my problem?

Drunk uncle, why are you calling me man?

Drunk uncle, where are your friends?

Drunk uncle, you know I'm not a narc so

Don't make me call grandma