Like the Breaking of Glass ft. Isabela Colmenar Lyrics

When I was young

I wanted to see the world through my mama's eyes

She bought me a camera because

She wanted me to experience

The world for myself

But instead

I would just capture

The people, places, things that she would stare at

She would get this look in her eye

The kind that looks like remembering

Then

She would shake her head and turn away

Running away from her thoughts

Her memory

I've never felt lonelier than when I'm with her

As if I was grasping at a ghost

And so

When her back was turned

I would take a photograph of these objects of her perception

Jealousy to my fingertips

Later

in the corner of my childhood room

I would scour these photos

To find remnants of her

As if I could piece together

Her silences and somehow I would be able to understand her

Everything I've ever created has her in it

But she remains on the borders

Always trying to escape

How can I resent her when all she's known is leaving

How can she resent me when this is all she's taught me

I'm leaving, yes, but at least I'm running towards something

Something, someone, that feels like home

Is it cruel to say that her name always meant survival and never safety

Is it selfish to ask for a love I can recognize? That I can hear?

Growing up

She would always say utang na loob

Utang na loob

I have so much absence inside me that I've become her

I owe her for everything that I am

But what can I do

When I've grown to hate who I've become

What can I do when I see her

Not myself

When I look into the mirror

How do I get to the other side of her

I think

I'm just trying to find my way out