The Wonderful World of Bones McCool Lyrics

Hey I'm Bones

I'm Bones McCool

Listen

I'm about to tell you the story of my life

Start to finish

The whole truth

The truth

The nothing but the truth

I can't believe it's not the truth

I'm Bones McCool

Now listen here

I've got my saxophone

But it's broken right now from the last thing that happened to me

Which we'll find out about at the end of the story

So I can't play you any saxophone tunes, here

But I'm gonna tell you my whole life story

The wonderful world of Bones McCool

Alright, [incoherent] the microphone arghh

Alrighty

There we go, alright

Bones McCool's having a seat, okay

Our story begins with Bones McCool being born

No one knows where or to whom I was born

But I was born up in the mountains to a woman named Janet

Now, Janet, she sold me right away, to the navy

And there's where I learned the saxophone, out on the navy piers

Then I moved to the Industrial Science Museum for the Wickedhearted when I was 24

And that's where I worked for about two years

And that's where I met someone who I'll never forget

A man of great importance

A man who would change the course of history forever

A man who needed to be reformed but for whom there was nothing I could do

A man who would kill the most powerful, kind, and generous monarch that has ever roamed the planet

Excuse me a minute, I'm lighting my smoke

His name

Was Heebie Jeeber

Now Heebie Jeeber was not your typical assassin, you see

Heebie Jeeber was

Well, everybody thought at first he was a very kind, benevolent man

But he did something

Something ain't nobody ever got to be able to forgive him for and be able [incoherent]

And after the Silver and Gold King met his untimely demise in a mountain climbing accident

Bones McCool went down to the Tungsten Village

Where he knew the Tungsten King reigned

This Tungsten King had been king for about two years

And he was one of the kindest men old Bones McCool had ever met

He said, Bones, I got a job for you

And I'm Bones, and I said, Yeah, what's up Tungsten King

He said, I hereby make you my royal saxophonist

And that's where I played

I played in the courtroom

In the throne room

In the court of the Tungsten King

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