The Christmas Sweater

My baby pulled me aside, two weeks before the holiday

She handed me a pretty box, you need to open this today

Been working on his gift for months, at night and on my work lunch

She had a smile a mile wide, I'm sure to love this a bunch

Tore off the paper, I lift the lid

Something this ugly, it should've stayed hit

If I pretend to like it, I might just score

I hate this Christmas sweater, but I love her more

She said you'll wear this thing tonight, to the company soirée

I said it's far too nice for that thing, she insisted anyway

It had a Santa and a reindeer, crudely stitched across the chest