Good advices

My soup is cold, my beer is warm my jeans, they don't fit tight

My car's too old, my fridge too small seems I can't do nothing right

I don't wear the latest fashion I don't wear the right things at all

My paunch is too fat, my nose too long why are the parts are too small

But what a luck, I get good at advices on my TV

They tell me how it works they tell me how to buy me free

Take this pill if you're too fat take this juice if you can't sleep

Take this shaver and you'll be a real man use this perfume and you'll be into to deep

Drink this whiskey or that beer if you wanna have great success

But I'm just drunk all the time did something wrong, I guess