Be Here Lyrics

Lately I've been feelin' just a little philosophical

Voices in my head instillin' fear but barely audible

Feelin' more resistant to this gimmick called existin'

I ain't on that suicidal shit

No I just think it's comical

The way we struggle daily, slave away to keep our pockets full

Of change we have to earn and pay to make survival possible

Schools corrupt the vision, all around illusions optical

And fools will tell the children

"Make us proud 'cause you're unstoppable"

Really what's "unstoppable" is suffering and greed

And I don't even see the merit of this shitty little "dream"

In which the children are indoctrinated into chasin' green

Thinkin' any sum of money will imbue them with some meaning

Is this really worth repeating?

Daily pain and daily strife

Is it really that appealing?

Livin' out this crazy life

Think I may be in a tunnel, I don't really see the light

But you don't gotta worry brother

'Cause you'll never hear me sayin' shit like

I don't see the point of life so show me out of here

And I shoulda never sworn to fight my hope to disappear

And I know that if I rid myself, my folks will shed a tear

But my mind is just a living hell and

I don't wanna be here

(Don't, don't, don't)

(Don't don't)

It's been a couple months

My mental's been declinin'

Thoughts of suicide and

Publicly I'm silent

I don't think my mom could bear to know what's deep inside and

Even if I saw the doc I doubt it'd even help me fight it

But I would never pull the trigger

After all my mom has done for me

What kinda son I'd be to go and quit her

She had never been a quitter

All the years she spent alone providin' dinner

Bitter 'bout my shitty father who done did her fuckin' dirty

It hurts me

All I ever wanted was to make her proud

And show my father he was fuckin' wrong to just desert me

Ma, you don't deserve me

You deserve a son who'll treat you perfectly

Who'll put you in a palace 'fore he's thirty

That was all I ever sought to do

I got to Stanford, had a future

It was only 'cause of you

And now I'm doomed

What to do?

I lack the mental fortitude

To fight this demon in my brain

And every day I hear it sayin' shit like

I don't see the point of life so show me out of here

And I shoulda never sworn to fight my hope to disappear

And I know that if I rid myself, my folks will shed a tear

But my mind is just a living hell and

I don't wanna be here

(Don't, don't, don't)

(Don't don't)

Today's the day, I can feel it, I'm excited

It's my day of liberation

I'm the only one invited

Fuck the meds, fuck the prayin', I done tried it

I'm still sufferin', I'm tired

Had enough of all this cryin' so I'm dyin'

I'm on campus, from my family I'm hidin'

The extent of all my suffering

Back home they think the meds have fixed me up again

And I don't wanna burden 'em no further

Know how hard they worked to get me all this guidance

Just to find that I'm still hurt behind the curtain

So I've now determined

They would just be happier without me in their lives

'Cause I'm a shadow of the person whom they used to know and love

Mr. Student of the Month

Mama's perfect little cub

Her beloved youngest son

I've forgotten who I was before I lost my head

I've been "crazy" 'bout a year and every day

I fall more close to my untimely end

Sorry Mama, sorry brother, sorry all my friends

But ain't no way I'll ever feel alive again

So it's settled, here's the plan

Took a final walk to Walmart

Bought a rope

I got it right here in my hand

Imma end it in the laundry room

The ceiling pipes provide the best resistance

So I'll tie it there and put this to an end

Time to go

Monday mornin', 'bout 11:10am

Got the rope in my backpack

But my class I won't attend

I'm concealin' my beloved knot of freedom

Walk inside the little laundry room

And look at that

The room's completely dead

Not a soul, not a student, not a life

In the room, in my mind

Just a noose and my imminent demise

All this time I've been fightin' for my life

Now I'm strivin' just to die

Only then can I win against my head

Got it tied, here we go, enough's enough

Holy fuck

That's a student who just walked in with her stuff

Don't call the cops

Then the pain'll never stop

Officer, just leave me be

Please get me out these fuckin' handcuffs!

'Cause

I don't see the point of life so show me out of here

And I shoulda never sworn to fight my hope to disappear

And I know that if I rid myself, my folks will shed a tear

But my mind is just a living hell and

I don't wanna be here

I don't see the point of life so show me out of here

And I shoulda never sworn to fight my hope to disappear

And I know that if I rid myself, my folks will shed a tear

But my mind is just a living hell and

I don't wanna be here

Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't, don't, don't

Don't don't

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis

Please dial 988

There is always hope