Irreversible Shame Lyrics

This the dark side of what we do

It ain't always highs you know

Some people lose their whole fortune

Some people even lose their lives

He lost a hundred thou today this can't be life

Re checking his portfolio like this can't be right

He just over came gambling thought of letting down his family twice

It's starting to mess with his sanity slight

Shit is real was all good just a week ago

Was moon walking till it all started to creep below

He in the red now head down but he was stoked

But feeling dead now just cause he ain't seeing growth

And with a baby on the way thats just adding pressure

For him to resort to drastic measures

Possibly robbery or slinging dope

Could pray to god its not a novelty to cling to hope

Cause everybody do it when their back between the ropes

Closing out his Binance and Bitfinex

He can feel his self starting to get depressed

Thinking how'd he get finessed

Now he gotta hear his black homie say I told you thats phony

Man why you put your money in that stupid ish

But he couldn't quit

He just felt that it was too legit

Even heard my song i tried to warn him but he muted it

Damn homie if you woulda just tried to give a damn

You woulda known you had your life savings tied up in a scam

But he ain't trying to hear it and the time for thinking its just over with

He done already resorted to drinking damn the sober ish

Pacing back and forth frustrated in every way

Been a couple years since he updated his resume

But he a prior felon who thought he saw a way out

And he bought what them liars selling but it didn't play out

Got a thousand in Bitcoin he could request a pay out

And get back to his old ways but that barely paid the bills

He afraid for real know his wife indeed gon split

Because she feel a man that can't take care of his seed aint it

Gambling addict saw some action that was different from the other

So in a sense he just traded one addiction for another

Threw his pride out the window asked his mom for a loan

With his luck his brother picked up said leave mama alone

And before he let the drama go on

He just hung up in a rage

Plotting another come up to get paid

But not a lot of options for a felon out of work

But to sell a lot of perks and just hope he land a place to stay

But the hardest part is looking your wife all in her face to say

I fucked up in a major way but please forgive me

But I want my kid to have a future that's my seed you dig me

So I'm willing to sell whatever like fuck it who needs a kidney

Contemplating suicide to escape the moment

Looked to his left and saw a table with some papers on it

Upcoming life insurance payment amongst a pile of bills

Seeing his name all on that paper was a wild ordeal

Didn't know how to feel

But with his wife as the beneficiary he could provide a future for his child for real

Mistakes will be the death of you or your family will pay the price

Thinking the only way to make this right was to take his life

Family picture by his side as he clutched his weapon

Tears falling down his eyes it was just depressing

Put down the gun picked up the phone to say his last good bye

He called his wife she said hello you heard him gasp and cry

Without having to say a word just that lovers vibe

She felt his pain from the other side he said

"What i did today holds irreversible shame

"And what makes it worse i did it all for personal gain I don't deserve to live

She said stop it get your shit together

We got a lot of money saved we can fix whatever

A hundred thousand baby we'll do what he have to do

And I found out it's a boy we gon name him after you

Then painful tears of joy running down his cheek was left

As he hung up he picked the gun up took the deepest breath