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  • Genre:Folk
  • Year of Release:2022

Lyrics

The football player sips his cider

Waits on his ride to California

Benchwarmer at 22


At present he's 28

Just quit smoking pot for online dates

Twisted his ankle in a pick-up game

He insists he can throw all the same

Though he loses ten yards every year or so

His hairline recedes but his ears still grow

Benchwarmer on novocaine


In thirteen years he's 41

A homeowner then, the father to a son

Who swears to hearing voices in his closet at night

And creeping hands that vanish from sight

His doctors attest "this isn't strange

An active imagination for a boy his age"

They've got him on meds to keep him sane

His tantrums increase

Feels itching on his brain

Benchwarmer on Olanzapine


In just 26 years the kid is 32

A fondness for beer, scented shampoos

Coaches his daughter in little league

She's slow for her age and lacks self-esteem

Benchwarmer in all but name

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