DIY Show Lyrics

I saw you at the DIY Show

You were smoking a cigarette

You had a menthol Pall Malls

Those are such good cigarettes

D-I-Y Show, DIY Show

I saw you at the Instagram Show

You were smoking a cigarette

You said you couldn't pay to get in

As you held a mid-tier six pack

D-I-Y Show, DIY Show

But you'll always be with him

I went over to your boyfriend's house

Cause I needed to murder him

I told him he was going to die

He said, "No wait, please hear me out"

"I have so much debt in student loans, and when I die

It goes to my parents, which would be such a dick move"

I said, "Well, why didn't you get the FAFSA?"

He said, "Obviously, I got the FAFSA

I have a combination of federal and private student loans

And the private ones are way less forgiving and have super high interest rates"

When I murdered your boyfriend

All of his student loan debt went to his parents

They had to prorate their Social Security

Which was their only source of income

Until they themselves died

And then we made a baby