NO RAINBOW Lyrics

My imperfections comprise my self-image

If there's hope for redemption, I can't really tell

If I can't love myself, then how could anyone else?

The devil on my shoulder has his hands clutched around my throat

Telling my apprehension to keep me from staying afloat

To emphasize on those problems with myself I don't want to face

To keep on adding to the list of things that I want to efface

They say "get over it

The skies will clear,"

But the days have seemed overcast

For what seems like years

I can't assert

I can't prove my worth

I can't think for myself

I don't have any nerve

I can only pray that you'll stay

And pretend it's okay

Inveterate

Asphyxiated with no failsafe

Self-actualize?

Bleed reason into my sight?

I have such little time

For I am human, I am finite

But if innocence is feigned

And these sentiments won't be changed

I won't put up a fight.

It's just one more thing to keep me up at night

When I'm awake, nothing feels quite right

Too attached to everyone in sight

And it's all the same at night

For there's no solace in sleep

Just visions I don't want to keep

Purge these self-abhorrent tendencies

Please make me what you want to see

They say "get over it

The skies will clear,"

But the days have seemed overcast

For what seems like years

I keep telling myself I'm not depressed

Just under the weather

Don't expose vulnerability

Just pull it together

God, I want to make you proud

But it's been two decades of only letting you down

It's getting harder to keep this gun from my mouth

I wait for the sun to come out

Oh, will it ever come out?

Will it ever come out?