Esoteric Reality Lyrics

(I will always be the lonely one)

The old adage goes that you only accept toxic people in your life

To get the self-righteous feeling of helping someone less fortunate

And for years I felt like I was one of these noble men

Saving others from drowning in a sea of ignorance and fake fix me ups

But as time has worn down my young naïve mind I realize that I've always been the toxic one

I've done nothing more than step on the heads of those trying to float around me

I've sacrificed others in an attempt to prolong this misery that is my lack of knowledge to my own disease

So the question becomes

Do I deserve to suffer in the exact parallel that I put countless others through

Do I get that luxury of death

Or will irony always be

How it's been to me

It gives me my hopes and dreams

But wrapped in blood-soaked memories

I look back on my earlier years and laugh now at one of my many reoccurring dreams

I would wake up in a cold sweat screaming crying gripping my throat

Gasping for air because that drowning sensation was so real

(It was so real)

And what's humorous now is I can't tell if they were actually dreams

Or just my subconscious trying to get through to me on what I was starting to become

Almost as a foreshadowing on how I would make others feel

And the false trials I'd put them through even though they never deserved it

They never deserved it

So the questions becomes

Do I deserve to suffer in the exact parallel that I put countless other's through

Do I get that luxury of death

Or will irony always be

How it's been to me

(Been to me)

It gives me my hopes and dreams

But wrapped in blood-soaked memories

(Blood-soaked memories)

Or will irony always be

How it's been to me

(Been to me)

It gives me my hopes and dreams

But wrapped in blood-soaked memories

The past haunts me

I give in slowly

I guess it's better than

This life's uncertainty

The past haunts me

I give in slowly

I guess it's better than

This life's uncertainty

Or will irony always be

(The past haunts me)

How it's been to me

(I give in slowly)

It gives me my hopes and dreams

(I guess it's better than)

But wrapped in blood-soaked memories

(This life's uncertainty)