
Yule Log Lyrics
- Genre:Holiday
- Year of Release:2024
Lyrics
Christmas is a time of cake and nuts and sweets
A time of giving and of eating chocolate treats
As well as vast assorted cooked and uncooked meats
In short no shortage of tasty stuff a man can eat
Another biscuit? It's rude to say no
But then the festive feeling in me starts to grow
And I can feel some pressure building down below
I cannot say it more succinct as
I release my festive sphincter
I've shit my Christmas underwear
And I don't have another pair
So in the absence of a spare
I'll go commando this year
I drop a yule log like a
Big brown Santa down the trouser leg chimney
And the smell's enough to kill me
So I'll go commando this Christmas
An awful stink of cheese and sprouts and beer
My wife and kids recoiling in disgust and fear
This unexpected rectal burst of christmas cheer
Is rendered all the worse because my grandma's here
It's not too late, we still can get things back on track
A hasty shower to soap and cleanse my crack and sack
And just like Arnold Schwarzenegger"I'll be back"
To open gifts and pretend I didn't shit my pants
We gather round the piano, For a christmas chorus line
And as we hit the final bars of Mistletoe And Wine
I sense a rumbling deep within my large intestine
And my anus explodes as if it just stepped on a landmine
I've shit my Christmas underwear
And I don't have another pair
So in the absence of a spare
I'll go commando this year
I drop a yule log like a
Big brown Santa down the trouser leg chimney
And the smell's enough to kill me
As it drops down to the floor
And as it sits there on the ground
With all my family gathered round
A crowd spellbound at my astounding six pound mound of brown
We are a family together
They have given their forgiveness
We all admire my Yule Log
And isn't that the spirit of Christmas?