Tesla Lyrics

Bought myself a car, thought I'd save the Earth,

Spent a fortune thinking it was worth,

But now I'm stuck in a service queue,

With no one there to tell me what to do.

The screen's gone black, the handles won't pop,

The app won't load, and the car won't stop,

They said it's "cutting edge," they said it's "great,"

But all I got was endless wait.

Tesla sucks, yeah, I said it loud,

Worst damn service in the crowd,

It's a fancy toy, but when it breaks,

They leave you stranded, make no mistake.

Tesla sucks, it's all a lie,

Shiny cars, but they let you cry,

If you want a ride that'll drive you nuts,

Go ahead, buy a Tesla, it sucks!

Autopilot's more like "auto-crash,"

Took me to the curb, now I'm low on cash,

The doors won't open, the charger's fried,

They sent me a bot that said, "We've tried."

Customer service? More like a joke,

Call 'em for help, get left in the smoke,

I just want my car to get me home,

Not sit there dead like a useless phone.

Tesla sucks, yeah, I said it loud,

Worst damn service in the crowd,

It's a fancy toy, but when it breaks,

They leave you stranded, make no mistake.

Tesla sucks, it's all a lie,

Shiny cars, but they let you cry,

If you want a ride that'll drive you nuts,

Go ahead, buy a Tesla, it sucks!

They promised the future, but sold me a dream,

Now I'm stuck in a nightmare, tearing at the seams,

From batteries that die to updates that fail,

Tesla's just a shiny ship that sets sail.

Tesla sucks, yeah, I said it loud,

Worst damn service in the crowd,

It's a fancy toy, but when it breaks,

They leave you stranded, make no mistake.

Tesla sucks, it's all a lie,

Shiny cars, but they let you cry,

If you want a ride that'll drive you nuts,

Go ahead, buy a Tesla, it sucks!

So here's my advice, don't make my mistake,

Tesla's just a brand built on the fake,

If you want a car that works, take a pass,

Or be like me, screaming, "Tesla sucks!"