What If I Die 2Nite Lyrics

As I lay in bed, a regretting sinner

I uncap my pen to write my last letter

If I die tonight, I hope it gets better

I can only wish that I be forgiven

Cause time didn't heal, I kept getting bitter

And I know that I sound like a broken record

It feels as if I'm just stuck on repetition

Mostly driven by not taking decisions

Cause I still don't know where my life is heading

Following a dream and not knowing when it might take off

So I keep on wishing, I feel like all my days are being missing

What if I die tonight, still not fulfilling

My soul is amissing and I am not missen

I've been having dark episodes, less frequent

Kinda weird hearing it from me ain't it

I just got in touch with me, that's my secret

Tryna break free, just tryna let go

A bird in a cage, just flying all alone

Controlled my thoughts and finally saw my worth

They used to control me, I used to be a pawn

Controlled by your own mind and your fucking thoughts

They'll be running in your head, a fucking marathon

Negativity hit you like a xylophone

Leaving one question on your mind to roam

What if I die tonight, full of spite

What if I die tonight, not feeling right

What if I die tonight, a sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I pay the price

What if I die tonight, full of spite

What if I die tonight, not feeling right

What if I die tonight, a sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I pay the price

I silently suffer I try my best to cover

The way I've been feeling, but man, it gets tougher

With every passing memory, per fucking hour

I try to reach out, but ah, then I cower

Cause trauma enter mental rooms and it scours

I try to leave a trail in my songs to our

Future self to show that I've flowered

But when I try to rap it, man, I just stutter

I trip and I fumble and I lose my power

Then I resort to taking long ass showers

I don't know why a lot of y'all been on my mind

But please do this for me, if I die tonight

Just forgive me truly, I apologize

I been battling my demons, barely fucking breathing

Suffering a lot, but not ever speaking

A toxic trait, I have it disappearing

The minute that my head and dome starts overheating

I get so lost in my own world, dreaming

Either that or just motherfucking grieving

I overshare a lot to keep myself shut

I share everything in my songs, so what

And I have some reasons as to why I journal

One of them is getting shit off my shoulders

Another one is reading it when I'm older

Have I gotten wiser or gotten colder

Plus, when I die, you read it and know

How much I was suffering behind closed doors

I'm not looking for some sorries or applause

The last thing I need is pitying me

I've just been saying that I ain't no defeat

Cause I don't wanna turn back to the old me

The virgin in me, I hate it when it just leaves

A purposeless, depressive, cold me

The me that is always angry and lonely

But I think I'm finally starting to see the light

If I die tonight, will you even give a shite

What about the sins that I've done at night

Have I ever done a thing that felt right

All these thoughts and the nocturnal bites

But everything we think, man, are just thoughts

I could possess some truth, but also could be false

But if I die tonight, full of spite

What if I die tonight, not feeling right

What if I die tonight, the sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I paid a price

What if I die tonight, full of spite

Full of spite

What if I die tonight, not feeling right

What if I die tonight, the sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I paid a price

What if I die tonight, full of spite

What if I die tonight, not feeling right

What if I die tonight, the sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I paid a price

What if I die tonight, full of spite

What if I die tonight, not feeling right

What if I die tonight, the sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I paid a price

What if I die tonight, the sacrifice

To cleanse myself from my sins, I paid a price