Pandora's Box Lyrics

What's wrong with me? That's a door I don't wanna open

But cryin', bitchin', and sobbing simply won't do me good with coping

Soakin' in my self hatred and loathing, always workin

life just ain't gonna stop, cause I'm moping, that bitch rollin' will just keep on moving

A Pandora's box of emotion, boxed in behind a dream, just hopin

Feelin' joy, releasing endorphins , sometimes I feel like that part's broken

Pumping hate in me till I'm chokin' on the eggshells of negative thoughts

I'm walkin', I've contemplated, doin' things I've hated

Kinda stupid question, sayin', why the fuck am I exasperated?

Compensating, always feeling, so left off and always hatin

Who I am and think I'm failing

I paddle in the stream of my thoughts

I battle through my schemes and my flaws, I saddle myself with a fear of a lost

Till I wake up feeling lost and distraught

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

Blow the Gjallahorn and let the Ragnarök begin

While I'm holdin' a box that's filled with sins

And a war of hope and a fight that's within

You may think it's a good thing, tellin' me I'm so dope and gifted

But do you have any notion of what this does to you when you don't even think it ?

A robbed innocence of a childhood's mind

Terror and doubt and hate combined

Adolescence view of a life deprived of love and care

Then crystallized into a beautiful complex mind

Of an adult child stuck inside, always hurt

But not once cried and a raging war inside, never dies

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

Fell off the wagon, had to get back in, yeah relapsing it happens, 400 plus days I've trashed 'em

Feeling enchanted entrapped while I'm rapping

And I've well established trying to enroll

In my darkest thoughts while I'm yapping

And so far I've only healed a fraction

But the surface, man, I barely scratched it

As soon as I close my bedroom door

Loneliness fills everything to the core

My soul, my furniture, and decor

My addiction kicks back in and the whore

That I've never felt anything for before

Is the only one you start looking for

But only because you're horny and bored

And after you do and give in to the thought a

You spiral out of self-control

Promise yourself you'll stop for sure

But then you don't and you spiral more

And man I'm drifting, giving in to being tempted

I tell myself I can't resist it

But I know it's a lie and I feel conflicted

I'm tired of bitches, tired of this shit

Tired of life and all it's misfit

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

And I swear to myself, I'm done with the chase

I want me a woman that don't play games

I want me a woman that communicates

I want me a woman that says what she thinks

A bitch ain't gonna ruin what's going great

Is it such an impossible thing to say

A perfect case of the previous phase

Of the previous verse that I had just laid

And I know that I'm good, man, fuck it, I'm great

I'm the sole controller of my own fate

And I threw my self loathing in a back gate

And I know that no one really gives a shit

But consider this song my cry for help

To a vindictive mind, I'm a prisoner held

Always mad, but still won't yelp

To a a vindictive mind, I'm a prisoner held

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts

Oh God, it has been odd, I've been fighting for something I'm not

I've been neglecting myself much, fighting these vindictive thoughts