Bonus Track The Dizziness of Standing (Blues) Lyrics

I don't want to be sad anymore

Don't want to find what's next

What terror waits behind the first

Locked door.

Don't want to wake in trepidation,

Foul words upon my mouth

Cursing Him for yet

Another day.

Don't want to sit upon my throne

A King of nothing

For a lifetime and a day

Alone.

Don't want to stumble anymore

Upon the words of others

Feel harm upon the breeze of

Their words.

And yet,

I want to live,

I want to marry pleasure

And sleep with pain,

Tread along the dangerous paths

And laugh as I look down.

I want to be,

To see,

To understand,

To take the hand

Of the Devil

And the Heart of God.

To wake in hope

Sleep in rest

Knowing that there is no test

To pass,

No mark to set,

No standard to achieve

As if our lives depended on it.

I want to find a point, a reason,

The answer that makes me want to keep

On breathing.

I want to be alive.

Don't want to feel the fear

Of the perpetual ringing

Of the telephone or the dropping

Of the mail.

Don't want the dizziness that comes

From standing up

Or the high that comes from lying down

At night.

Don't want to feel the anaesthetic of sleep

The dulling of the pain

The grateful loss of time

The ether of my mind.

Don't want to be remembered

For what I have not become

For my shattered dreams

For the tattered lives

That I dragged along

For the disturbance in the minds

Of those who drown in my genetic soup

Who cannot understand why they

Think the way they do.

on't want to blame some former life

For the mess that was my own,

Or watch any more the dissolution

Of the walls that held me safe

Beyond reproach, beyond touch,

Beyond the fire that battered at my home.

And yet,

I want to live,

I want to marry pleasure

And sleep with pain,

Tread along the dangerous paths

And laugh as I look down.

I want to be,

To see,

To understand,

To take the hand

Of the Devil

And the Heart of God.

To wake in hope

Sleep in rest

Knowing that there is no test

To pass,

No mark to set,

No standard to achieve

As if our lives depended on it.

I want to find a point, a reason,

The answer that makes me want to keep

On breathing.

I want to be alive.

Alive.