Glenn's Last Day at Work Lyrics

It's Glenn's last day at the Lyndhurst Castle of Medieval Times

Past the ticket gate he'll herd his final gaggle of lords and ladies in line

His camera a-danglin'

From his neck down to his red cotton tights

He'll take our picture at the Lyndhurst Castle

While he's rolling his eyes

Glenn took a job aptitude test

Told him he's smarter than the rest

Glenn is an artist and a leader, so it seems

Tomorrow he'll start sending out CVs

In Mallrat Country where the kiddies are hungry for a feast and a show

Old Glenn makes pennies in his mid- to late-20s snappin' photos by the velvet rope

His buddies are squires

And a few have been promoted to knight

While Glenn prints copies in the grand old lobby of the Medieval Times

I took a job aptitude test

Turns out they robbed me like all the rest

I was an artist and a leader in my dreams

Now I sit and talk into a screen

"If we all had healthcare," I tell my friends

"I'd take up clerkin' at the service station then"

No cares about money

No cares about clout

No longer performatively pledging loyalty to the crowd

On Glenn's first day at the new tech startup he's awash in the glow

Of a hundred fresh faces who will onboard and train him, and do all of this from home

He's packed up his lenses, now he's setting up his company phone

At 12:00 midnight at the Speedway off the turnpike I am working alone