Santa Claus Diss Track Lyrics

Santa, I think your days are over You're too fat and old, you're slower

It's time to quit like just retire And I'm cookin' you this fire

Shit, is there a brand new hire?

I'ma fill your role, it's dire

New Santa is crazy, I'm wired

Crash the sleigh and kill the elves Oh shit, guess I'm fuckin' fired

Rip Rudolph's bitch ass red nose off, throw it to the wolves

My blood cough worsens every time I hear you bring up this damn holiday

I'll survive to New Years, hopefully that shit will be okay

I burned down the tree after I smashed all of the ornaments

Yuck wanted to pull up, so I dropped him my damn coordinates

Santa, what's gonna happen to you is unfortunate like Lemony Snicket

Friends consider me an arsonist So do not worry, you holly jolly piece of shit

This is just vacation where I throw out that trash toy counterfeit

So I'ma drive the snowplow right into the

other lane

Then I'll see what happens when out the windshield goes my brain

Ho ho ho, here comes Santa Claus

Wait, he gon' suck on my candy cane?

Pause

Santa gon' suck my candy cane Cause he likes lil' boys again

Yeah, Santa wants yo' kids in his lap

So then he can go home and fap

I'm just sayin', just speakin' the truth

This Santa Claus guy is a bitch we should loot

Probably pedophile to shoot

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, presents under the tree

Hope they bring the whole family glee

Except I just took a shit in a box and wrapped up nicely

At least it's better than socks, huh, precisely

I'm a little tricky trick, I'm the fuckin' Grinchy Grinch

You can suck my dicky dick and take every inchy inch

I don't wanna wake up at 6 cause I'm recordin' this at 3

I woke up at 1am and saw Adam's 8 crazy nights

The one where he can't stop getting in fights

But then I had to move my bowels

Accidentally shit on towels

Whitey said that's technical fouls

But I don't give a fuck, I'm sour And I do this by the hour

And I just took Santa to the motherfuckin' shower