Where Will I Go? Lyrics

Hazy IPA I crave and cave in to abusive ways

I guess I am my grandpa and my grandma in a different brain

Ain't it strange? I talk it out but it'll never change

Tryna run from it, block it out, I guess I can't complain

What will I do?

Took a trip to get a fix on 66 the mountainous

The outcome was a sober mind, a good three months of fixing signs

Then I went to Vegas and got faded, alcohol my spine

Something I ain't talked about, abuse has always robbed me blind

Kept me from connecting keeps me leaving who I love behind

What will I do?

Trauma dump on all those peaks and notebooks I keep secretly

I've said I want to kill myself a 100 times, the very least

Every morning feel the glow as I look out towards the east

I know that one day I'll be fine and radiate

with peace

Rays of sun some days feel like razors on these desert streets

Kicking up the dirt to find a creek to numb my bleeding teeth

Hands are in the soil I keep praying, let the stress release

Hope they love me at my press release

What will I do?

I'm still searching for that ecstasy and climbing hills I can't defeat

The details are so vivid but my memory is incomplete

Talking to my therapist, she telling me I need to leave

I disappeared like Chris into the trees but I still can't breath

Doubt mixed with disbelief

Angry how I'm still perceived

Looking in the mirror like is this real? Guess I'm Tel Aviv

The mind is still a hurricane, like can I get some damn relief?

Done it all to fix beliefs within myself that wild beast

It's Kurama on both my sleeves

Sew it in Brazilian Weaves

I care too much I'm so naive

See the good in godless beings

I had to cut em' off, butcher brothers with a heavy cleave

Ain't too much that's left for me

Besides a trail that's hella steep

Staring at this map camping ridges on a glacier creek