The Big Guy And The Rattlesnake (Rerecorded/Remastered) Lyrics

So like, there was this guy right?

He was not a small dude

One could say he was a pretty big guy

And he was wandering through the desert (Arizona)

And I was like

Why the fuck would you go to Arizona

There's nothing but heat, pain, and meth out there (Fifteen percent)

But apparently

I was wrong

There was one more thing out there in Arizona

There was a snake

Just one

Nobody really knows where the rest of them went

But it just so happens

That if you visit some Arizonian desert in the middle of fuckass nowhere

Be able to find that snake

And that's exactly what our friend Big Guy did

An opportune time to go find a snake

In this snake hunt he did partake

Big guy wandered out to the hills

His quest to find the snake was not just for thrills

Now he wasn't very agile

Our friend big guy

But he was strong as a bull

And tall as the sky

Desert sand burned his toes

Dusty air blew up his nose

He ventured forth

And did not stop

Even when he encountered

Some sizeable slop

(Oh no)

(Watch out Big Guy)

A ginormous man

A legendary snake

As they commence their battle

The Earth will quake

The damned will rise

From the darkest depths

One will survive

Who will claim success

Through the brush and past the ridge

The snake goes to cross a narrow bridge

Like our friend big guy

This snake is large too

The snake looks up into the sky

Searching for a feud

A man of large stature

The snake is scanning for

Because he knows he's this guy's target

And to each other they run toward

A ginormous man

A legendary snake

As they commence their battle

The Earth will quake

The damned will rise

From the darkest depths

One will survive

Who will claim success

The sun sets

All is at rest

Except of course

The snake headed southwest

Our guy found a box filled with a chocolate treat

A dark brown sludge melted in the Arizona heat

Begrudgingly consuming some of the sizable slop

This big guy could not be stopped

The big guy headed northeast

To meet the large snake

He found a village of the deceased

It seemed to be the aftermath of a feast

He had also passed by a large cucumber

That could for some reason count to four

The fireflies woke from their slumber

The empty box of chocolates lay still on the floor

The titans clashed

Volcanoes erupt

It could be felt around the earth

One side would be crushed

The snake took blows

Big guy was almost eaten

Big guy was just too big

The rattlesnake had been smitten

This song is about women's rights

If you were smart you would get it

If you were smart you would get it

If you were smart you would get it