California Screamin' Lyrics

Central Valley

Sweet raisin

Give me cauliflower

Give me sex by the hour

In Fresno

Set me up in Chico

With the Freakos

I got restless toe syndrome and covid

I need to shoot my wad

At the homeless camp

Casino to bet crypto

On a big guy MMA bout

In Lodi

If we win

Me, my sis and my bros

Get gonzo billions

Looking at trillions

Criticize

I mean ostracize

Me in Sacramento

I'm scouting for water

And an otter

And my long lost

Runaway daughter

All you gay guys

Lead such great lives

As New Age sages

In San Francisco

I guess you do do that

Cause someone loves you

On Sunset Strip

Of the rainbow

Watch out though

For opioids and poppers

And androids

And especially keep an eye on

Bakersfield

The Lizoid cops there

Eat boys and girls

For serial killer breakfast

Wild mountain fires rage

Smell the burning sage

Turn the page in the smoke

All the leaves are brown

And the sky is gray

Nothing to see here

Hey Alcatraz

I mean San Quentin

When's the next

Scheduled execution

But I'm not stupid

Seems like

Some fucked up shit

Maybe I do need to

Get electrocuted

I mean with no blame

Entire lives

Go up in flames

Gonna take a Napa

A shot of Grappa

And sip some Grigio

Before my hair

Gets singed off

Like Smokey the Bear

On the Ridge-eo

(Kurt Schittwas)

On the Ridge-eo

Smoking on the Ridge-eo

(I've got a mango)

(Box it up and send it away)

Truckers to Bakersfield

And truckers to the East Coast

But I'm not done yet

California Dreamin'

You did too much

Damage to my thought

Process to let you off

The hook like that

Fuck that

Fuck that

California

Amazin' raisin

Gag on your swag

Gag on your oak aged

Vanilla notes

Smooth and nice

In wine and liquor

Gag on your life

Or just take it chill

Your private eyes

Know precisely

Who's doing who

And what loads the dice

Lemme see your ID

Who's Bugatti

Who's vice

Or I don't know

Is there any there there

Left there

Whole thing

Just Grand Theft Auto

Are you all fucking like

Plato

ID

Fuck that

ID or starve

ID or starve

ID or starve

Identification

ID

Identification

Or you will starve to death

I will never see the end of this

They will

They will

Control everybody

And there's nothing I can do about it

I must sit here and weep

I must weep

Cause it's identification or starve

Cause it's identification or starve

Identification

Identification

ID

ID

ID

ID

ID or starve

You and me

ID

So I got down on my knees

And I began to pray

To say what the fuck is this

This state is in a

State of dysfunction

On a scale of 39.5 billion

Guess what

Like that

It don't take much

To light the match

Facade and mirage

Love at first lay

Look I know the game

I've gone up canyon roads

Overgrown with flora

With houses perched on stilts

I've viewed magnificent vistas

Upon the Pacific

From private abodes

I know what counts

On the West Coast is

Fidelity in sight and sound

Relationships

No way

In San Jose

Faithful in trust

You must be kidding me

ID or starve

ID or starve

ID or starve

ID

ID

ID

ID

ID

ID

ID

ID

ID

I see

I see it

I know

I know

I can't believe it

I will never believe it

I can't believe it

I will never believe it

I will not believe

ID

You must be kidding me

(I need to see ID)

Alright so

Just play on SM replay

Your best day

Take your language lips

And ripped off looks

And crimp the opposition

On your way

To The Perfect Trip

The Perfect Trip

Take your way

On your way to The Perfect Trip

Doesn't matter

If everyone else thinks you're jerks

Which I think is fine

At least we like what you write

Even though none of you read

Such a prime apothegm is

Don't read what you write

Such a Golden State

Most valuable gem

That's all right

Don't read anyone

Especially not Didion

She's just a spy

In the house of love

Poor old Cali

You were once fruit of the loom

Now you're just

Another failed dream

Hate to end it this way

So I won't

To be continued