The Country Music Family Lyrics

Well, the country music family, I'm told

Welcomes all into the circle, no matter if you ain't well-known

But the truth ain't nothing quite like that

And I'm here to tell you where it's at

It's all about who you know, and that's a fact

Now, the country music industry, it's true

Has got something to do with songs like this one you're listening to

But an industry ain't family

And if someone says so, don't believe them

You know they're only after your folding green, right

See, no one makes dime from records now

So you'd think that everyone would just want to help each other out

Playing shows and singing songs

But that is where, my friend, you're wrong

It's all like some trophy to be won

So the country music family's a joke

It's like some not-so-funny thing that Jeff Foxworthy wrote

The music's great, but that's where it ends

They'd have you think we're all best friends

But it's all as fake as Dolly Parton's Golden Globes

Yeah, the country music family's like a joke, you just don't get it

It's not so smart, makes no sense, it's easy to forget

Three chords and the truth, you see, is what country music used to be

But both of those ain't as common as you'd think

Now the country music family's like a joke that never ends

And like a John Wayne Western it goes on and on, my friends

I'd heard that in this family, it's all peace and love and harmony

But I ain't found no peace nowhere just yet

Now, it ain't like country bars is any better

No, there ain't no family circle here, just the owners, mates, and sellin' beer

Same old bands, same old tunes, they're all just here for chicks and booze

Whiskey mixed with apple juice, and some old bras hangin' from a moose

A mechanical bull that doesn't work, and the owner's just some redneck jerk

I could go on and on, so I think I will

Now plenty in the family are seekin' out celebrity

And plenty more are in it, only just for popularity

For both of those, they'll sell their soul

But even the devil thinks that's gettin' old

And I hear he's done a deal, or two, or three

Now you got them pretty girls in cut-off jeans

And those fit and tall young fellas wearin boots and tight black tees

Cause sex'll sell is what I'm told

And sellin's all that matters

So I guess I'd better go start workin' out

Now you won't hear this on some radio show

But if you do, don't touch that dial

You found the best one by Country Mile

Cause DJs say they'll play new acts

They only spin their friends' new tracks

Just shrug your shoulders, roll your eyes, and smile

So the country music family's still a joke

But the times, they ain't a-changin' so we'd best just move along

Just don't forget to enjoy the songs, tap your boots and sing along

Cause the punchline's just a lonesome blues so long

Now you might think I'm just some bitter bum

And if you do, well I guess you're right

Just not as pretty as some

Cause this cautionary tale you see is as much for you as it is for me

And after all, ain't it just a bit of fun