Lousy Date Lyrics

I'm taking myself out on a date tonight

I'm gonna treat myself good

I'm taking myself out on a date, alright

Because some article said that I should

So I'm putting on my makeup and I dress myself with care

And when the moment is here

I take a look in the mirror

And say, "Is that what you're gonna wear?"

Oh, I'm taking myself out on a date

And I have to admit that it's not going great

I'm being too critical right out the gate

When I'm taking myself on a date...but I'm a lousy date

A lousy date!

And now we're here in a fancy restaurant

And by we, I mean me

But I don't let myself order what I want

I keep complaining, man, these prices are crazy

And now I'm flirting with the waiter, and he's clearly mortified

And I would disappear to the bathroom, but there's nowhere I can hide

When I'm taking myself out on a date

I keep doing insensitive stuff that I hate

I'm picking my teeth and I'm scraping my plate

When I'm taking myself on a date

But I'm a lousy date

And now I'm rehashing old arguments spiraling out in my head

And now I'm checking out the other women in the room and wishing I was with them instead

Instead, I'm taking myself out on a date

I keep checking my watch, saying, gosh, it's so late

I'm already drunk, and it's not even eight

When I'm taking myself on a date

I can't wait to be home from this date

I'm taking myself on a date, but I'm a lousy date!

A lousy date

A lousy date

A lousy date (ad nauseam)