i picked up the blade again Lyrics

Feels like I'm falling back again, I need to find my place

And every day it seems I'm going back to my old ways

I guess that's my mistake, I know with time I'll break

But I don't really give a damn, I need my time and space

I'm sorry I picked up the blade again

When I said you couldn't, God, I'm a mess

There's blood on your hoodie and I regret

Living my life like there's nothing left

But I can't stay, I don't wanna go back to

Fighting every day with the urge to relapse

Dude I'm just fucking insane and I'm sorry I'm attached to

Please, just promise you'll remember me

As I fall victim to myself again

Know I need help but I just hold it in

Because it feels nice to let go

I don't ever feel right, I lost hope

Depending on a steel knife

When I'm low, it feels nice

I'm sorry I picked up the blade again

When I said you couldn't, God, I'm a mess

There's blood on your hoodie and I regret

Living my life like there's nothing left

I'm sorry I picked up the blade again

When I said you couldn't, God, I'm a mess

There's blood on your hoodie and I regret

Living my life like there's nothing left

It's like I get back up just to dig my grave

I fall in love with blood, with every scar that fades

I just can't get enough, I need to get a taste

Of how it feels to love what you see every day