Afraid to Die Lyrics

I'm so afraid to die

Sometimes at night I lay awake and cry

Even though I know I'm only wasting time

Been tryna keep the faith alive

And chase this dream to satiate my pride

But these mistakes I made still hate to see me shine

I know it takes these things some time

And we just live the fate that he decide

But the process might just make me change my mind

You see the places that we've climbed

But you don't see the places we declined

To call our homes and kick our feet up and recline

This a letter to my daughter I'm sorry I wasn't there for you

To tell the truth I was way too under prepared for you

Dealing with myself made it hard to properly care for you

But regardless I should have never disappeared on you

Now that we rebuilding I hope you know that I'm so different

Used to blame your mama but truth be told we were both trippin'

Now I sit alone and I ask myself why the hope missing

Probably 'cause my baby girl 7 and we aint close

If it's true the things they say about never being too late

To right my wrongs I swear to God baby, I'll start today

Let me do the things I say just to prove to you there's a way

To get the trust I lost from you back in an honest way

Because I'm so afraid to die

Sometimes at night I lay awake and cry

Even though I know I'm only wasting time

Been tryna keep the faith alive

And chase this dream to satiate my pride

But these mistakes I made still hate to see me shine

I know it takes these things some time

And we just live the fate that he decide

But the process might just make me change my mind

You see the places that we've climbed

But you don't see the places we declined

To call our homes and kick our feet up and recline

This a letter to my father I'm sorry that I was hard on you

I realize that I disregarded the scars on you

I realize that the blame that I would let fall on you

Probably could have gotten divided between us all and you

Still never fought or shifted the blame

I used to ignore your calls and you never did me the same, I mean

We both got shit that we probably wish we could change

But the difference between us two is you didn't bitch or complain

And dear mama, I'm so happy you found yourself again

Depression scary when nothing seems to be helping it

The truth get ugly and comfort in it is seldom

It's always gon' hurt you worse than it can help

That's why I'm so afraid to die

Sometimes at night I lay awake and cry

Even though I know I'm only wasting time

Been tryna keep the faith alive

And chase this dream to satiate my pride

But these mistakes I made still hate to see me shine

I know it takes these things some time

And we just live the fate that he decide

But the process might just make me change my mind

You see the places that we've climbed

But you don't see the places we declined

To call our homes and kick our feet up and recline