Television Sucks Lyrics

I met a little lady in a barroom

She was staring at TV

Even during commercials

She didn't sneak a glance at me

I asked her how she was doing

And she told me to shut up

There's only one conclusion

Television Sucks

Television sucks

Gomer Pyle

Gilligan's Isle

Television Sucks

I met a little lady in church once

Her head was bowed in prayer

I asked her what she was praying for

She said, I want to be a millionaire

She didn't even seem to notice

When Jesus spoke to me

Her eyes were in a sacred trance

Watching a laptop TV

Television sucks

Too many dead ends

Now she's watching Friends

Television sucks

I met a little lady in paradise

Naked as the virgin dew

Staring a bright red apple

It seemed she didn't have a clue

I tried to read her some poetry

And I heard somebody hiss

Said she didn't have time for me

She was inventing the satellite dish

Television sucks

I couldn't revive her

She was watching survivor

Television Sucks